Why subscribe?
Good question. In fact, maybe you shouldn’t subscribe! Here’s a list of good reasons not to:
“Don’t know much about history, and not only that, I have no desire to know nothing about anything!”
“Don’t really care to find out the reasons why things are the way they are in the world. Maybe it’s just me, but I personally think people should live in the moment and not dwell in the past.”
“And besides, are you some kind of expert or something on this stuff you look up? I have it on good authority that you’re not! So if I do need to know anything about this stuff, I’d rather hear it from someone who already knows what he’s talking about without having to look it up in freakin’ Wikipedia or wherever in hell you get your information!”
“Also, even though you say you will try to give us the objective facts, maybe along with your bleeding-heart wokey-dokey opinions — to the so-called ‘best of your ability’ — I suspect, in reality, you’re some kind of Liberal Snowflake Democrat! And that means you hate America, and hate God, and are incapable of telling the truth! Why don’t you just go back to RUSSIA, you Commie Freak! (Oh, wait!! No, forget that Russia business! I guess that’s not your thing anymore, is it? Never mind.)”
(Okay, first of all, when you say, “I have no desire to know ‘nothing’ about anything”? That’s what’s called a double-negative and should instead read, “no desire to know ANYTHING about anything”, you semiliterate pickled-brained baboon!)
But other than that? Fair enough! You actually make some good points there!
So now, here’s a short list of reasons you might want to subscribe:
“Okay, I know that there are times when I’m watching the TV news or whatever, and I hear about something on the news that puzzles me and makes me say to myself, ‘Wait! What?!?’ But they don’t always take the time to tell you how and why things got this way, and yet, I hate trying to search online on my stupid so-called ‘Smart'-phone’ — and besides, my computer is way at the other end of the house, so wouldn’t it be nice to have someone else to do the ‘looking-stuff-up-online’ for me? Still, I’m not really what you’d call ‘political-minded’, so if it’s okay with you, I might just ignore your political ‘wokeness’ jibber-jabber (and by the way, whatever the heck does ‘wokeness’ mean, anyway? Hey, maybe you could look ‘wokeness’ up for us?) but I guess I have to trust that you’ll at least try to give us the straight facts some of the time. So sure, what the heck, go ahead, count me in!”
(Hmm.) Okaaay!! That’s the spirit! Kudos to you!!
GO FOR IT:
And besides, something else you may not have thought of is that, at least until sometime in the vague and unspecified future, all subscriptions will be FREE!
But remember, while you will receive an email edition in your inbox, you might sometimes find a slightly updated version at the website — since corrections and late additions don’t always make it into the email version — but that’s also where you will find the archive of past issues (and I’ve recently noticed that many readers, presumably even NON-subscribers, have been going back and reading past issues lately.)
And comments are open to all subscribers!
Which I’m hoping won’t ever cause the “Comments” section to attract spammers or trolls. If so, they may end up being heavily curated — so please, don’t make me come in there! Try to behave and not be any more snarky than I am in the column itself.
And why am I doing this?
Because I finally realized that, even though I’m getting older and starting to walk funny, I’m not dead yet!
And if it turns out I’m wrong about that last part, please someone let me know in the comments, as I like being kept in the loop.
And finally …
If for any reason you want to find out more about the company that provides the tech for this newsletter, visit Substack.com.
